Quote Thread
Anthologica Universe Atlas / Academia / Miscellaneria / Quote Thread

? Whimemsz posts: 51
, Novice Speaker message
<Slereah> So I had a great idea for a site
<Slereah> It is called
<Slereah> I spit on ur grave
<Slereah> It's just me mocking all dead people ever
<Slereah> In chronological order
<Slereah> From early humans to modern celebrities
<@Cev> "Fuck your ass, Scorpion I!"
<Slereah> Watch out Ötzi!
<@Cev> "Oetzi, you're a fukken retard!"
<@Cev> "Bite me, Cheddar Man!"
<pthag> sounds like something maddox or lowtax wld have done in the 2000s
<pthag> im sorry, Slereah....
<@Legion> only known humans or do you include every human that has statistically existed
<Slereah> Well known in the sense that we have either records or bodies
<@Legion> "Statistical mid-15th century Frisian pesant was a moron, fuck that guy lol"
<Slereah> Although I'm sure we have plenty of corpses of 15th century frisians
<@Cev> So you gonna start with the type specifimen of Sahelanthropus tchadensis?
<@Cev> "Fuck that guy!"
<Slereah> I will mock their small stature and poor dental records
<Slereah> Probably just early homo sapiens
<@Cev> what a homo
? Izambri Left of the middle
posts: 904
, Duke, the Findible League
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27-set-2018
<Izambri> I just know I want Disney far from me.
<Slereah_work> I went to Disneyland a few time
<Slereah_work> It's alright
<Slereah_work> I know a guy u see
<Slereah_work> He's like way into disney so he can get cheap ticket to disneyland
<Slereah_work> he's got like a fancy subscription to it
<Izambri> ugh
<@Whimemsz> did you just go to see the people walking around in animal costumes?
<Izambri>
<Slereah_work> Well I mean
<Slereah_work> it is certainly part of the trip
>Slereah_work> Although there was a Decision a few years back
<Slereah_work> Where Disneyland now refuses fursuiters to come during Halloween
<Slereah_work> Which used to be a tradition with the furries
<Izambri> lol
<Slereah_work> v. sad
<@Whimemsz> those spoilsports
? dhok posts: 235
, Alkali Metal, Ulan Bator, Mongolia
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<YaaliAnnar> Hmm... how old were the children when they start being pederasted?
<YaaliAnnar> Old enough to ejaculate?
...
<YaaliAnnar> I'm still looking for the proper verb for the act of pederasting a boy.
? Cev Grammatis Qaghan
posts: 73
, Operon message
<miekko> is disney using all its surplus money on maintaining that frozen corpse?
<Slereah> are you talking about Star Wars or the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney


<CUM_SIURAN> section 3 of the 25th amendment has been invoked three times in American history, every single one of which involved the president undergoing a colonoscopy
<Slereah> nice
<CUM_SIURAN> obama had a new type of colonoscopy when he was in office that didn't involve sedating him, so he didn't need to invoke it
<Slereah> I don't think a colonoscopy counts as a disability
<Slereah> You could probably preside with a tube up your ass
<CUM_SIURAN> it was more about the sedation
<CUM_SIURAN> than the colonoscopy per se
<Slereah> do they invoke it when he takes a nap too
<CUM_SIURAN> no
<pthag> the president is never forced to take a nap
<pthag> except when he must be anally probed
<Slereah> I guess that's why presidents age like hell
<Slereah> They are constitutionally forbidden to sleep


<@Cev> No I was too rapt by the drama of the film
<@Cev> Like of that one guy dressing up as a woman to escape the city and filling his frock with gold coins.
<@pharazon> hehe
<@pharazon> it's funny because he's a guy
<@pharazon> dressed as a lady
<@Cev> Yes
<@Cev> Guys don't wear dresses.
<@Cev> That's just silly.
<@pharazon> did he put coconuts under his shirt for breasts??
<@Cev> Couldn't.
<@Cev> No swallows in Middle Earth.
<@Cev> He'd've had to march all the way down to the land of Harad to get any.
<@pharazon> sounds just like my marriage!!


<pthagphone> oh no i just fell into the hitler trap
<pthagphone> i thought
<pthagphone> HMM I WONDER IF THERE'S ANY SPECIFICALLY MIGRATION PERIOD GERMAN SOLAR ICONOGRAPHY, SOLAR ICONOGRAPHY IS COOL MB I WILL GET A TATTOO OF IT
<pthagphone> guess what
<pthagphone> guess what migration period solar iconography is guys


<@Whimemsz> "Though never sporting fashionable jargon, Victor has always taken on phenomena and issues that engage aspects of multiculturalism, hybridity, alterity, and the subaltern, while remarkably grounding his work in painstaking philological analysis."  way to avoid fashionable jargon


<Slereah> I need a 500km long dick
? Whimemsz posts: 51
, Novice Speaker message
<@miekko> a friend of mine who has a masters degree in pharmaclogy
<@miekko> and you'd expect to grasp some basic things
<@miekko> figured that the planned transplantation of a head would finally prove whether the soul is in the heart or the brain
<@miekko> I mean, I find her ideas preposterous there
<@miekko> clearly the pancreas is the seat of the soul
<@miekko> this is why I am a p-zombie
<twabs> pancreas zombie
<@miekko> see, natural insulin ensouls the body
<@miekko> it extends the reach of the soul
<twabs> insoulin

<Cevv> I found a photograph of the North Dakota-Manitoba border:
<Cevv> https://i.imgur.com/KfuytgZ.png

<Slereah> Check out my library instead you nerds
<Slereah> https://i.imgur.com/ThDC09k.jpg
<@Cev> What's that thing that looks like a rubber pickaxe?
<@Cev> is that something you put in your butt?
<Slereah> which thing
<Slereah> Oh, the brush
<Slereah> it's the brush I use for the fursuit
<@Cev> So "yes"
<Slereah> Well indirectly, I guess
<Slereah> you don't want to bang a dude with a messy fursuit
<Slereah> you want that fluffy chest
<Slereah> Better view of the humanities shelf :
<Slereah> https://i.imgur.com/9tskiOr.jpg
<@Cev> Slereah is that a fleshlight?
<Slereah> It is a regular flashlight
<Izambri> Lower shelf: Humanities
<Izambri> Lower Lower Shelf: fleshlights
<Slereah> Oh wait
<Slereah> u don't know
<Slereah> What is in the
<Slereah> lowermost shelf
<Slereah> https://i.imgur.com/uzcxWiI.jpg
<Izambri> :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

<YaaliAnnar> I wanna be cremated, but my fammily won't respect my wish.
<YaaliAnnar> My family won't also honor my wish to be buried in a fursuit.
<Smaug> isn't there a conspiracy theory about Indonesian Christians trying to convert the whole country?
<YaaliAnnar> Smaug: Yes, it's called "Kristenisasi"
<Smaug> maybe by the time you die, everyone will be evangelical
<Smaug> and there's no prohibition against fursuit burial in the Bible
<YaaliAnnar> One can hope.

<CUM_SIURAN> I read giving up the gun
<CUM_SIURAN> that was the book I read about the tokugawa shogunate not actually completely blanket banning guns in
<CUM_SIURAN> but instead just restricting their manufacture to a msall number of samurai families
<@Cev> This paper apperas to be saying that they weren't banned for non-samurai either
<Play> they were going to ban guns entirely but then they said "wait a minute, you cant spell shogun without 'gun', we've gotta think this out"
<CUM_SIURAN> show the shogun your gun at the gun show

<YaaliAnnar> Israel is now attempting to occupy the moon. http://www.planetary.org/blogs/jason-davis/spaceil-lander-feature.html
<YaaliAnnar> How can they be stopped

<Cevv> chomsky knows everything about amazonian languages he doesn't even need to go to the amazon
<Cevv> or see a jungle
<Cevv> or a tree
<@guitarplayer> he *knows* all trees binary-branch~
? Izambri Left of the middle
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#isharia / 17-nov-2018

<guitarplayer> According to this article I just read, major rivers are currently so low that ships can only transport about half their load. And that in central Europe where a shortage of water is normally not one of your problems.
<Izambri> did that happen before?
<Izambri> the level of the Rhine so low, I mean
<guitarplayer> it's been the driest year since they started recording it (whenever that was) IIRC
<Izambri> regarding water and rivers in Middle Europe the only news I recall reading/hearing here are floodings
<guitarplayer> idk, but usually you have the opposite problem
<guitarplayer> so yeah, floods instead of drought
<guitarplayer> last year we had floods, this year it's drought
<Izambri> basically it goes this way: Middle Europe, floods; southern Europe, droughts and fires; Scandinavia, nothing noticeable; British Isles, wind storms; France, fiery protests.

<pharazon> i'm 100.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% gay
<CUM_SIURAN> pharazon: lol gay
<CUM_SIURAN> also thats a lot of digits of precision
<CUM_SIURAN> are you sure you're that accurately gay?
<pharazon> yeah the recent SI change made it that by definition
<twabs>
<pharazon> hello twabs
<CUM_SIURAN> pharazon: so the SI unit of gayness is now linked to the Pharazon Gayness Universal Constant?
<Izambri> that's great news
<pharazon> i don't make the rules
<Izambri> I can't wait to buy a gay-o-meter and measure my gayness in pharazons.
<Whimemsz> it's called a gaydar, plz
<Izambri> I differentiate between a gaydar (for me that's a gay radar) and a gay-o-meter (the machine that measures gayness).
<Whimemsz> hmm
<Slereah> what is your level on the gay-o-meter
<Whimemsz> fair point
<Izambri> the Gaydar™ being a detector of gays.
<Izambri> although you can have the deluxe version which integrates a Gaydar and a gay-o-meter.
<Izambri> the supreme tool
? Rhetorica Your Writing System Sucks
posts: 1258
, Kelatetía: Dis, Major Belt 1
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Woah, woah, woah. At least register a sockpuppet for that level of shameless narcissism.
? Izambri Left of the middle
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quoting Rhetorica, Kelatetía: Dis, Major Belt 1:
Woah, woah, woah. At least register a sockpuppet for that level of shameless narcissism.

I can't avoid it. I'm so quotable.
? Whimemsz posts: 51
, Novice Speaker message
<@Cev> For about 5 minutes I thought maybe I wanted to learn a language
<@Cev> Then I looked at all the available books in the pile and on amazon and saw that they're of course totally unhelpful phrasebook-type pieces of shit
<@Cev> Now my demeanor has returned to its original, correct status of wanting to hurt people.

<Slereah> "'Ghostbusters 3' With Original Cast Being Written"
<Slereah> They're resurrecting Harold Ramis
<@pharazon> what
<@pharazon> no
<@pharazon> he's going to play a ghost

<@Whimemsz> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:CVUA  lol look at this
<@pharazon> wow wikipedia's own aurors

<Slereah> that submarine is pretty phallic
<@Cev> is it long?
<@Cev> and hard?
<@Cev> and full of.....
<@Cev> crewpeople?

<Slereah> I have wondered for a while
<Slereah> if it was possible to do
<Slereah> A tragic fart
<Slereah> Like make a movie and have a fart in it that contributes to its tragic aspect
<Slereah> Like the Buddha dying of colon cancer or something

<Slereah> it's sad to think that the most accurate historical evidence we have is probably paperwork
<Slereah> AND EVEN THEN
<Slereah> Who knows how many sumerian fucks were cooking the books
<@Whimemsz> those sly merchants
<Slereah> the (((hyksos)))
<@Whimemsz> writing down the wrong number of pigs
<@Cev> Yeah we might be totally wrong about how many minas of silver Ena-Gilbash-Ma-Nur-Ga made in the year 2200 BC!
<Slereah> for all we know the bronze age collapse never happened
<Slereah> it was all an insurance scam

<@Cev> I don't get how some people describe moments of silence in the theater
<@Cev> like everyone is "stunned, in shock!"
<@Cev> or
<@Cev> maybe
<@Cev> they're just sitting there, quietly watching a movie
<Slereah> not being rude
<@Cev> Unless the crowd is *constantly* whooping like howler monkeys at the screen, then it must be a moment SO SHOCKING that they're all CATATONIC
<Slereah> do you mean
<Slereah> A BLACK AUDIENCE
<@Cev> I dunno, I've never gone to see a movie with a predominantly black audience.
<@Cev> I have, however, gone to see a movie with a predominantly howler monkey audience.
<@Cev> And I can tell you
<@Cev> They make a ruckus.
? Hallow XIII Primordial Crab
posts: 512
, 巴塞尔之侯
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pthag chuckles
< pthag> you mean the chaos emeralds?
? Izambri Left of the middle
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#isharia / 29-des-2018

<Cev> It's too bad the Soviet Union is no longer around to conduct experiments on whether liposuctioned wolves can glide from trees.
? Izambri Left of the middle
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#isharia / 3-gen-2019

<Isambri> Naima thoughts on piercings and tattoos
<Naima> thoughts on piercings and tattoos of third reich iconography bouncing around, one thing stood out: the neo-nazis were all drinking milk. they spat it out as they danced, letting it dribble down their chins."
<Isambri> wow
<Smaug> that's pretty hot
<Slereah> I'm afraid this is a new generation of punks
? Karch posts: 13
, Foreigner message
-
#isharia - about a year ago

<Mishael> In your opinion as Muslims will I go to hell as a pagan or Christian.
? Jipí der saz ûf eime steine
posts: 291
, Transition Metal, Marburg, Germany
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Oh I appear to not have posted this one yet.

<Naima> the babbling oracle they consult, the inner workings of which are a pain in the ass with butthurt, wai wai desu  aghost
? dhok posts: 235
, Alkali Metal, Ulan Bator, Mongolia
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<dhok> Decree Nisi
<dhok> an order by a court of law stating the date on which a marriage will end unless a good reason not to grant a divorce is produced.
<pthag> nisi
<pthag> u see
<dhok> means "unless" yes
<pthag> pronounced /naisai/ fyi
<dhok> a legal term around since before the great vowel shift i see
<pthag> i think that's unwarrented
<pthag> this is standard english pronunciation of latin
<pthag> it could have been invented in 1873 and it would still be pronounced that way
<pthag> most things were, in fact, invented in 1873
<dhok> what happened in the year 1873
<Slereah> they invented inventions
? Izambri Left of the middle
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#isharia / 4-gen-2019

<Druggie> Buying drugs is a fun experience bc it's like a simulation of buying medicine in the US
<Druggie> Where u pay 10$ per pill
<pthag> drugs insurance when
<Druggie> We can ask Obama for it
<Druggie> one of the punk lady asked me if I had any of the drugs left
<Druggie> and I had
<Druggie> but turns out I lost that last half pill!
<Druggie> v. sad
<Druggie> In retrospect it was probably not a good idea to ask the dealer man what dose he advised for those pills he did not know the quantity of drugs in
<Druggie> Probably not quite the same tolerance as him
<Isambri> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_pop_musicians_who_died_of_drug_overdose
<Isambri> nice
[…]
<Isambri> the wild 70's. look at the ages
[…]
<Isambri> 20-something
[…]
<CUM_SIURAN> the first one on the list is one dinah washington
<CUM_SIURAN> in 1963
[…]
<Isambri> "Jay Reatard [...] Cocaine"
<Isambri> of course
[…]
<Isambri> "Wayne Static [...] Oxycodone, dilaudid, alcohol"
<Isambri> that guy knew
<Isambri> he went from static to overexcited and static again
? Izambri Left of the middle
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, Duke, the Findible League
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2018 is dead. It could have been better. Now, goodbye, and don't come back.

Despite all the shit 2018 had good and fine things, and some are in this very thread. These are my TOP 5 #isharia quotes from 2018.
In no special order...

The Zompian meme Xurnese philosopher terrible drawing
A lovely one for its simplicity and truthfulness. I post the link only because it has two images: check it outta

The African Brexit name brainstorming
I missed that one when it took place, but it's so good that it deserves to be in the TOP 5.

<Zayk> wow
<Zayk> African Union is going to start a Schengen thing
<Cev> UGANDEXIT
<Cev> UGANDEXIT
<Cev> UGANDEXIT
<Zayk> I expect more an #Exypt'
<Cev> That's pretty good yeah
<Cev> Letsgotho
<Cev> Botswannaleave
<Cev> CYaTomorocco
<Zayk> #Senego
<Cev> ZimbabwaveGoodbye
<Zayk> #SouthOutfrica
<Zayk> #SudanSulong
<Cev> ImmaGola
<Cev> Maleave
<Zayk> #SãoTomeAndPeaceOut
<Cev> Cote d'Aurevoir
<Zayk> #MADagascar
<Zayk> #KenyaLeaveUsAlone
<Cev> NeverAguinea
<Zayk> #Cango
<Zayk> #Byeundi
<Cev> ZamByea
<Zayk> #BeninAfricaNoLongerWannaBeHere
<Zayk> #Djiboutusout
<Cev> timeTogo
<Zayk> 
<miekko> Zayk: just DjibOUTi
<miekko> #SierraLeGONE
<Cev> #i'mGHANAleave
<Cev> #buRUNdi
<miekko> #leSortie could work
<miekko> I think Sudan should go for #SuDONE
<Cev> CentraLEAVEricanRepublic

The Gay Pharazon
I so love this one... It led to the creation of the pharazon as the SI unit of gayness. No, really. It's trw. Sort of

<pharazon> i'm 100.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% gay
<CUM_SIURAN> pharazon: lol gay
<CUM_SIURAN> also thats a lot of digits of precision
<CUM_SIURAN> are you sure you're that accurately gay?
<pharazon> yeah the recent SI change made it that by definition
<twabs> 
<pharazon> hello twabs
<CUM_SIURAN> pharazon: so the SI unit of gayness is now linked to the Pharazon Gayness Universal Constant?
<Izambri> that's great news
<pharazon> i don't make the rules
<Izambri> I can't wait to buy a gay-o-meter and measure my gayness in pharazons.
<Whimemsz> it's called a gaydar, plz
<Izambri> I differentiate between a gaydar (for me that's a gay radar) and a gay-o-meter (the machine that measures gayness).
<Whimemsz> hmm
<Slereah> what is your level on the gay-o-meter
<Whimemsz> fair point
<Izambri> the Gaydar™ being a detector of gays.
<Izambri> although you can have the deluxe version which integrates a Gaydar and a gay-o-meter.
<Izambri> the supreme tool

The Sleh's Lower Lower Shelf
Well, that one doesn't even need a presentation. It defends itself. A natural winner.

<Slereah> Check out my library instead you nerds
<Slereah> https://i.imgur.com/ThDC09k.jpg
<@Cev> What's that thing that looks like a rubber pickaxe?
<@Cev> is that something you put in your butt?
<Slereah> which thing
<Slereah> Oh, the brush
<Slereah> it's the brush I use for the fursuit
<@Cev> So "yes"
<Slereah> Well indirectly, I guess
<Slereah> you don't want to bang a dude with a messy fursuit
<Slereah> you want that fluffy chest
<Slereah> Better view of the humanities shelf :
<Slereah> https://i.imgur.com/9tskiOr.jpg
<@Cev> Slereah is that a fleshlight?
<Slereah> It is a regular flashlight
<Izambri> Lower shelf: Humanities
<Izambri> Lower Lower Shelf: fleshlights
<Slereah> Oh wait
<Slereah> u don't know
<Slereah> What is in the
<Slereah> lowermost shelf
<Slereah> https://i.imgur.com/uzcxWiI.jpg
<Izambri> ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

The 'I Spite On Ur Grave' fantabulous idea
Funny, but above all a great idea for a website. Aren't we creative people? Now we need to be entrepreneurs and make that happen.

<Slereah> So I had a great idea for a site
<Slereah> It is called
<Slereah> I spit on ur grave
<Slereah> It's just me mocking all dead people ever
<Slereah> In chronological order
<Slereah> From early humans to modern celebrities
<@Cev> "Fuck your ass, Scorpion I!"
<Slereah> Watch out Ötzi!
<@Cev> "Oetzi, you're a fukken retard!"
<@Cev> "Bite me, Cheddar Man!"
<pthag> sounds like something maddox or lowtax wld have done in the 2000s
<pthag> im sorry, Slereah....
<@Legion> only known humans or do you include every human that has statistically existed
<Slereah> Well known in the sense that we have either records or bodies
<@Legion> "Statistical mid-15th century Frisian pesant was a moron, fuck that guy lol"
<Slereah> Although I'm sure we have plenty of corpses of 15th century frisians
<@Cev> So you gonna start with the type specifimen of Sahelanthropus tchadensis?
<@Cev> "Fuck that guy!"
<Slereah> I will mock their small stature and poor dental records
<Slereah> Probably just early homo sapiens
<@Cev> what a homo
? Izambri Left of the middle
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#isharia / 6-gen-2019

<Naima> sweaty furry sex toys, they stop real fast and don't like them you will become the smallest hint of muscle. his throbbing manhood, his cock, was swollen and throbbing. �my god� he thought �this brings back memories.�

<Naima> manhood is that legal thing to say phar has the highest tolerance for bad puns when double meaning is involved of course carved into irregularly shaped stone tablets (mostly, tombstones) dating from china's imperial period still standing in the cemetery. according to an official count, among them there are 22 tablets from the song of songs or sth is it computer-related?

<Isambri> Naima weather forecast for the next week
<Naima> weather forecast for the next week to rip apart the deck and rebuild it and stay out of politics bumper stickers here

<Naima> christianism is the one i have really played is civ 4 last night. it was very well done flash for ten seconds and then reappear as a larger and red version of themselves with twice as much gas in the past few years and i don't get why they want to ban it?

If christianism reappeared larger and in red version, then we are speaking about the Inquisition, no? In other words, the Inquisition is christianism with twice as much gas.
? Whimemsz posts: 51
, Novice Speaker message
The manhood one is even better because it is totally unexplained — more context:

<Isambri> Naima sweaty furry sex
<Naima> sweaty furry sex toys, they stop real fast and don't like them you will become the smallest hint of muscle. his throbbing manhood, his cock, was swollen and throbbing. “my god” he thought “this brings back memories.”
<Slereah> oh my
<Isambri> god
<Slereah> !grepfile log (?i)his throbbing manhood
<Naima> No match found
<Slereah> a mystery
<Smaug> D:
<Whimemsz> improbable in the extreme
<Smaug> WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

————

Anyway, some more:

<@Legion> are there any gay incels anyway
<@Legion> that would be weird
<Slereah> If there are they'd have to be pretty unpleasant
<Smaug> that'd be really hard to pull off
<Slereah> Either physically or personality-wise
<Slereah> I've seen some swamp monsters getting laid in the fandom
<Smaug> you'd have to like REEK of shit and be almost nonverbally autistic

<Slereah> tell us pthag
<Slereah> What is the last feeling u felt
<pthag> what is a feeling
<Slereah> tell us about yur feelings
<pthag> usually i feel things with my fingers
<pthag> sometimes my dick
<pthag> what is there to say
<Slereah> we must administer pthag the voigt kamp test
<@H13> i feel my fingers with my dick
<@H13> and the other way around
<@H13> double feelings
<pthag> u have yet to make the trick of making ur hand go to sleep then
<@H13> i have indeed not tried it
<Slereah> use another man's hand
<Whimemsz> do people really do that?
<Slereah> the gays do yes
<Whimemsz> I thought it was more like an urban legend
<pthag> yes, and they go to hell for it
<Whimemsz> fascinating
<pthag> sodomites are very real. u may be living with one right now
<Whimemsz> D:
<Slereah> in your butt
<Slereah> the prefered nest of the sodomite

<Slereah> I've been to almost every continent, strangely enough
<Slereah> outside of Australia
<Karch> even in antarctica?
<Slereah> mb I can visit vlad
<Slereah> Make it an even 5
<Slereah> I did not
<Slereah> I don't think anyone on the ZBB is in Antarctica
<pthag> except mentally
<Whimemsz> you could visit some penguins though
<pthag> [it has a lot of mentally unstable people who are in a bad dark place]
<pthag> i guess it's summer in antarctica rn tho
<Slereah> I'll bring my speedo

<@H13> since i do not believe the United Kingdom is considered property of the crown
<@H13> except for the royal demesne
<pthag> all land is owned by the crown
<pthag> there's no allodial tenure anywhere, as far as i know
<@H13> and yet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crown_Estate
<pthag> this is not at all the same thing
<@H13> yes indeed it is not
<pthag> Some land in the Orkney and Shetland Islands, known as udal land, is held in a manner akin to allodial land in that these titles are not subject to the ultimate ownership of the Crown.
<pthag> huge if true
<@H13> > udal
<pthag> some sort of norse thing
<pthag> apparently
<@H13> yes it means birthright
<pthag> the danelaw survives
<@H13> immense germanic power
<Whimemsz> lol
<pthag> Swans, which are the property of the Crown elsewhere in the UK, are the property of the people in Orkney and Shetland.[12]
<pthag> huge
<Whimemsz> :D
<Slereah> what kind of stupid medieval shit is this
<pthag> pls
<pthag> the crown still protects its right in swans
<Whimemsz> a land of rich history and traditions
<pthag> sometimes johnny foreigner comes
<pthag> and kills a swan
<pthag> he is dealt with most severely
<Slereah> is he put in the stocks
<Whimemsz> is he put in the.... DAMN IT
<Slereah> SNAP
<Slereah> TOO SLOW

<pthag> this is b/c h13 listens to my advice
<Slereah> In the fantastical world of Almea
<pthag> about not discussing crimes on the internet
<Slereah> I will only discuss making drugs and having sex with farm animals
<Slereah> If that is a crime then let history remember me as a criminal
<Slereah> Also I may have commited some light treason
<@H13> Slereah, in god's name, why would you say this
<@H13> on irc
<@H13> u really are very bad at this
<Slereah> I'll confess to any crimes i wish!
<Slereah> I killed Napoleon in Saint Hélène
<@H13> i await my door being kicked down by a squad of bonapartists any second now

<@Cev> did I mention I went to see Mary Queen of Scots and did not like it?
<@Cev> know what's good though?
<@Cev> There's a character in it who speaks Gaelic
<@Cev> Mary rides up to some soldiers and says "Ach, wha nae gin awa' jean?" and one soldier says "Haggis, nae rolls your highness, he nae speaks Scots, only Gaelic" and then has to translate

<Smaug> cev, I have my copy of the Book of Miracles at hand
<Smaug> it truly is great
<Smaug> it's all travellers reports about very important things from across Europe
<Smaug> like a weird comet was seen
<Smaug> and a deformed baby was born somewhere
<Slereah> that deformed baby?
<Slereah> Albert Einstein.
<Smaug> O_O
<Smaug> a lot of these reports sound like UFOs and space battles
<Smaug> maybe Sanat Kumara was protecting us in a more active way back then
<Slereah> it was
<Slereah> ANCIENT ALIENS
<Smaug> "In the year A.D. 1226, snow fell in Styria which straight away turned to blood and was really terrible to behold."
<Smaug> thanks for that update, Bill, now let's go to Jan, who'll tell us about sports
<Smaug> the Children's Crusade gets a page
<Smaug> there's an illustration of a group of children
<Smaug> one is playing the drum, and another is carrying a flag
<Smaug> and in the distance someone is capturing another group like it
<Smaug> "In the year A.D. 1351, in the month of December, a comet was seen in the sky around midnight. Afterwards heavy winds sprung up and a fiery shaft was seen to fall from the sky, which then presaged great disagreement between the pope and the emperor."
<Smaug> Isambri there are even illustrations of dozens of people drowning
<Isambri> nice
<Smaug> "And in the same year, wine and grain were cheap - one bottle of Alsace for 5 pfennings or 4, a bottle of Neckar wine for 2 or 3 pfennings, one tub of hulled grain for 20 groschen, the spelty grain for 13 groschen, oats for 9 groschen."
<Smaug> 13 groschen for a whole tub of grain, that IS a miracle!
<Slereah> My god what a savings!
<Slereah> do you think that was part of their marketing
<Slereah> PRICES SO LOW IT IS A CONFIRMED MIRACLE
<Smaug> this book does have something to do with medieval businessmen...
<Smaug> "In the year A.D. 962, a great and wonderful comet appeared in the sky in Italy. This was followed by a great famine, so that many people perished and were found dead in alleys."
<Smaug> miraculous!
<Slereah> I mean, was that really out of the ordinary, outside of the comet
<Smaug> no, but the comet was there, so it MUST have been involved
<Smaug> "In the year 1482 the high mountain, rich in oil and wine, of Vesuvius in Campania - situated four thousand paces from the city of Naples - burst open at its summit or peak and threw up such a fire that cities and villages and all the trees burned up. Also a poet, called Pliny the Elder, wanted to see the fire but the fire consumed him too."
<Slereah> oops
<Whimemsz> 1482?
<Smaug> the illustration shows Pliny burning in fire
<Smaug> yes
<Slereah> heheh
<Whimemsz> seems the date is a bit off
<Slereah> Man this book is pure clickbait
<Smaug> I'll take a picture of this one, hold on
<Smaug> https://www.dropbox.com/s/zka4omqpfvrbiso/pliny.jpg?dl=0
<Slereah> Oh shiiiiit
<Whimemsz> F
<Smaug> the heading of the English translation does say "1482 [in fact: A.D. 79]"

<Isambri> so you don't have any fucking idea about Byzantine emperors Naima
<Naima> so you don't have any fucking idea about byzantine emperors naima horse willies, which zayk has attached to his pelvis.

<Isambri> Naima zoophilia
<Naima> zoophilia on animals whose primary sexual experience is with their siblings)
<Slereah> hot
<Whimemsz> don't get Slereah too excited
<Slereah> TOO LATE

<CUM_SIURAN> the san francisco ballpark is getting renamed
<CUM_SIURAN> from "AT&T park" to "Oracle park"
<CUM_SIURAN> sf is one of the few places in the US where naming a local landmark after a company who paid hundreds of millions of dollars for it actually adds some authentic local color
? Izambri Left of the middle
posts: 904
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#isharia / 7-gen-2019

<Isambri> also, I don't like when people put weird symbols in their Twitter names and I can't see them
<Isambri> because there's that box
<Isambri> boxed names
<Slereah> Man remember when encoding problems were a thing
<Slerea> I'm pretty glad we mostly switched to unicode
<Slereah> that shit was annoying
<Slereah> I even once was sent a package with an encoding error written in pen because of this
<Slereah> because my address had a diacritic in it
<Slereah> and apparently the person making the package was dumb

<slereah-work> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=3386
<Isambri> "my body dressed in construction clothes inside the walls of your house as an elaborate prank for future generations"
<Isambri> lelz
<Isambri> that makes a good translation challenge
<slereah-work> that is a single word in my conlang fortunately
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