Not quite Angry Rant-worthy, but not meh and definitely not Happiness material.
To start off: OKCupid finally got around to deleting my profile pic, QQ. I knew it was coming, But now the site's going to be pestering me to upload a picture of me, and well…yeah not ready for that yet.
?twabs
fair maiden
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If it's any consolation, in much of Northern England, "bear" sounds rather back-vowel-y.
uh m/b
there is also a town here called Bury. Whether you pronounce it with /E/ or /U/ is a shibboleth, but I cannot remember which one gets your throat cut by distrustful burghers. I avoid the place.