Eternal Summer
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? Nessari ?????? ?????? ????????
posts: 932
, Illúbequía, Seattle, Cascadia
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I ran across an old favorite of mine and just had to put it into Lilitika. It's not a perfectly one-to-one translation, that wouldn't be any fun, but I think it keeps the flow right while being largely adapted to Lilitai culture. Any errors are mine.

Am'rha zhí'tshóraLove Again
Ri trassi trúolebáse,I can see it in your eyes,
Alnúí dútedai, yolí mokadíkwai,No more tears, no alibis,
Soimarha osharha vòra íráisa noyú,I'm still in love with you,
Kas yírha rebossezísa,There's so much I gotta show,
Yentalyú rarha avanlísa,I will never let you go,
Ekla noyú enzigya woisísa,But still I know for sure,
Kéflasanré,Come take me by the hand,
Olí yeranzhofelía, 'kekhía—This summer never ends

Khé iféwoisáse éqra am'rha zhí'tshóra,And I want to know that you believe in love again,
Ýowím salla oltalya ethanré éhúe kekhía ola avá,Please tell me now it's not the end,
Noyú ralla zelgembáse éqra,'Cause this I promise you so true,
Ta yeranzhofelía rarha íkwesarái,The summer belongs to you,
Am'rha zhí'tshóra nai da?Could you believe in love again?
Avúe dzú shiwolebáse éqra illeponáre da?How can I make you understand?
Noyú ralla zelgembòsa sôka éqra,But this I promise you so true,
Ta yeranzhofelía rarha íkwesarái,The summer belongs to you.

Ta yeranzhofelía rarha íkwesarái,The summer belongs to you.

Déyú sarha flovatáre, sur empròsa da?Would you catch me if I fall?
Aléfarha apassa kúekhtía surrepòsa da?Crash and burn and lose it all,
Salla súnarha rékúòsa ethanré,Tell me what to do,
Kwúe rarha ifilísa liti venakoa hé venatsha,'Cause I need you night and day,
Alíegíldta da?Will you ever run away?
Enzyú mityerezírha vá súnarha essísethòsaJust one more thing to say

Kéflasanré,Come take me by the hand,
Olí yeranzhofelía, 'kekhía—This summer never ends,

Khé iféwoisáse éqra am'rha zhí'tshóra,And I want to know that you believe in love again,
Ýowím salla oltalya ethanré éhúe kekhía ola avá,Please tell me now it's not the end,
Noyú ralla zelgembáse éqra,'Cause this I promise you so true,
Ta yeranzhofelía rarha íkwesarái,The summer belongs to you,
Am'rha zhí'tshóra nai da?Could you believe in love again?
Avúe dzú shiwolebáse éqra illeponáre da?How can I make you understand?
Ekla noyú ralla zelgembòsa sôka éqra,But this I promise you so true,
Ta yeranzhofelía rarha íkwesarái.The summer belongs to you.

Ta yeranzhofelía rarha íkwesaráiThe summer belongs to you
? Hâlian the Protogen
posts: 141
, Alípteza, Florida
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Very nice
? Rhetorica Your Writing System Sucks
posts: 1292
, Kelatetía of Space
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Glosses provided mostly for the viewers at home:

- avanlíta (NEG-release-2.SG.LIQ) -> avanlísa (NEG-release-1.SG.LIQ); a clear case of -ita from Sarasí seeping back in
- Same on the next line; woisíta -> woisísa (to know)
- iféwoisòra (want-know-2.SG.AOR) -> iféwoisáse (want-know-1.SG.PRS)
- zhí'tshíta (again-believe-2.SG.LIQ) ... I feel like we talked about this, but this may be better as AOR, particularly since the line will establish a tense if you make the above change.
- "sarha ... ônethanré" (1-F.SG.ACC ... OBJ2DEST-say-2.SG.IMP) would be much better as "salla ... ethanré" (using a dative and the bare verb); forcing ônethé is unnecessarily literal anglomimickry
- "kekhírha avá" (end-SG.F.ACC NEG-be-3.SG.PRS) should be supernatural, should use the nominative case for statements of being (unless the being is an experience being emphasized, the definition—but that's only for animates), and makes an iffy indefinite use of an unspecified referent to mimic English's widespread abuse of "it". I've always avoided doing this as much as possible in Lilitika, because I've never had a chance to actually study how generic statements like "it's raining" work in various languages other than French (il pleut) and English. I'd probably be more comfortable with a more complete statement like "kekhía ola avá" - "this is not the end."

(more soon.)
? Nessari ?????? ?????? ????????
posts: 932
, Illúbequía, Seattle, Cascadia
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Updated!

  • -íta/-ita: I'm constantly messing these up. Argh.
  • iféwoisáse: Zú.
  • zhí'tshóra: We did discuss this one at length, but mostly how to form and syncopate it right, tense discussion if it did happen was like one line out of 20 or so.
  • salla … ethanré: Zú, zú.
  • kekhía ola avá: Efokera, katei. To help a bit, many other languages simply don't have any dummy subjects in defectives like it rains/il pleut, just naked 3rd person singular (and sometimes plural) verbs.
  • Verse 3, line 6: Switched enzíya to enzyú.


Bonus tidbits: While finishing this I sidetracked into
  1. adjusting some vowel-vowel contacts in the Anaşali and Ker versions of another song I'm translating (the Lilitika version is largely finished, I'm just stuck on how to grammar some things for the Salanjan siblings), which led to
  2. looking at my local Proto-Salanjan file to reference a point in the translations, whereupon I noticed that a particular pronominal suffix was listed as -al for Anaşali, which didn't look like what I'd written in Şerau Teršelainja, pulled that up and confirmed that it was wrong, so I started fixing that, which led to
  3. tidying up and expanding the Anaşa Salanja 1 article. Then I got back to fixing Şerau Teršelainja, which has now snowballed into
  4. rewriting the gloss sections of the piece into the actual gloss format. Around 16% done, interrupted by my WiFi being a piece of shit.


That's the most con-work I've gotten done in weeks. Yay!
? Rhetorica Your Writing System Sucks
posts: 1292
, Kelatetía of Space
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The rest:

- sceptical about déyú—maybe it was meant to be desyú?
- "Aléfarha apassa kúekhtía surrepòsa da?" = "If I find darkness within doing [presumably everyday affairs]?" The phrase 'to find darkness' is a bit euphemistic and weak, as it sounds, so let's try making up something stronger... "Suryú múrthòsaia hé mokasòsaia venassa Sabta da?" = "If I burn and wither under the sun?"
- "liti" [during] -> "witi" [when] would be stronger; "les" only suggests things happen at some point during the events (day and might) named, whereas "wes" implies simultaneous duration
- "Alíegíldta da?" (flee-2.SG.FUT Q) — consider throwing in nai (could) or dai (would) enclitics here; a statement so literal is almost accusatory. Also, this was recently added.
- "Enzyú mityerezírha vá súnarha essísethòssa" [only one.[typo; should be mít]-more-F.SG.ACC be-3.SG.PRS which-F.SG.ACC must-introduce-1.SG.[typo; should be òsa]] should be something like "Enzyú mi yi vitaqra súnán essíëthísa" [only one more statement-FN.SG.ACC which-FN.SG.GEN must-say-1.SG.LIQ". Numeric prefixes aren't usable as quantifiers when employed directly, the being verb was simply unnecessary, yay genitives, and sethé ("to introduce") is a wee bit pompous. Incidentally, the Ketalán accent seems to make words containing lots of <s> and <θ> into a rather agonizing tongue-twister.