quoting Коммерса́нтъ:

Tsar Njut' seizes Kiev; hogs Black Sea.

Queen's Navy to 'protect Norwegian neighbors' from Germans. Norwegian neighbors insist they don't care.

Return of Murad III? Constantinople distracted by Tulips, Anguipes spotted playing with puppies during prayers.

Riots erupt in Lisboa after Belém Tower bomb; second bomb has populace pleading for protection.

Austria anticipates Italian land grab; Fleet deflects Venetian invaders.

The Dutch scared shitless as proxy war looms.

quoting Tercüman-ı Hakikat:

Army of Constantinople drafted to transport tulips to the Sultana's pleasure gardens.  Top generals consider the move "unwise".

Flood of Black Sea smuggled vodka engulfing Ankara.  Imams outraged, demand naval action; everyone else delighted.

Outcry as Russian newspapers spread false rumors of the Sultana consorting with unclean animals.  Officials confirm that the Sultana was playing with kittens.

quoting Коммерса́нтъ:

Коммерса́нтъ, Europe's only private newspaper, is committed to bringing you accurate news!

EXPOSÉE: Photograph of Anguipes with so-called 'kitten' in pleasure gardens.

quoting Russian Njus':

"Greatest anachronism of the new century": Russian advance into Kiev compared to 21st century president Putin

Njut's response: " Vladimir Putin is only takink dminuitiv Crimea. I em takink all of Ukranian Territory! Long live Glorious Russiya!"

Turkey runs afowl: Shocking scandal shows Sultana's secret shenanigans

Large shipment of Moskovskaya vodka stolen, furious tsar demands naval action against "subversiv Portuguiyan homosexuel terrorists"

quoting Коммерса́нтъ:

World watches nervously as confrontation anticipated in coming months between Russia and Austria

Turkey announces its soldiers must march in single file

Austria's Naeddyr emulates General El Sisi; cracks down on salafists

Anachronisms abound in arbitrary aworld

Dhok reports on his trip to Moscow: "Liebe schmeckt die Kaviar, Mädchen sind zum küssen da, Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!"

quoting Коммерса́нтъ:

Naeddyr humiliated, but world relieved by swift Russian takeover of Rumania

France takes on Portuguese terrorists in Spain; says occupation indefinite

Germany stakes claim in the heart of France, Kaiser has no shame

Greek King responds "OCHI" to ultimatum from Il Duce; Italy invades Greece

Queen pretending to be friends with the French

Russia suffering from hubris, overstretched, as Turkey surrounds Sevastopol

quoting Radius, Hydrogen, United States:

Policy question for the GM: Would you accept conditional retreat instructions during main phases? For example, if Austria, anticipating events, had added to his Fall 1901 orders "Also if Rumania is dislodged retreat it to Serbia if possible or Galicia otherwise" - would that be acceptable? It wouldn't have mattered this time, but it could mean fewer whole-day retreat phases needed in the future.

quoting Tercüman-ı Hakikat:

Joint land and naval campaign swears to take the Black Sea/Sevastopol/all the vodka/revenge for the sullying of the Sultana's reputation.

Constantinople division spotted conga-ing into Bulgaria, advised to lay off the hashish.

Greek military weakness soundly mocked despite concerns over southern security.

quoting Коммерса́нтъ:

Military industrialization proliferates; doomsday looms as military size nearly doubles across Europe since spring of 1901

Vacationers, commercial ships steer clear Aegean Sea, foreseeing confrontation between Italy, Turkey; Viktor frets, "But what about the tourists???"

Russia fortifies, but still so damn far from Real Europe to matter

Norwegians yawn as Queen Pthagnar delivers speech