I still feel pretty dead inside. I want to drink heavily, but that will only make the situation worse. I'm kind of furious with my friends, which is stupid and selfish and petty because they didn't actually do anything wrong. I tried talking to my friend about what happened but it wasn't productive at all.
CW: drug abuse, self harm Kind of craving hydrocodone, or zolpidem. I haven't felt bullshit jealousy like this in years, I fucking hate it and I hate myself. I don't even know how to cope with these feelings that doesn't involve a knife.