<@Cev> For about 5 minutes I thought maybe I wanted to learn a language
<@Cev> Then I looked at all the available books in the pile and on amazon and saw that they're of course totally unhelpful phrasebook-type pieces of shit
<@Cev> Now my demeanor has returned to its original, correct status of wanting to hurt people.
<Slereah> "'Ghostbusters 3' With Original Cast Being Written"
<Slereah> They're resurrecting Harold Ramis
<@pharazon> he's going to play a ghost
<Slereah> that submarine is pretty phallic
<@Cev> is it long?
<@Cev> and hard?
<@Cev> and full of.....
<Slereah> I have wondered for a while
<Slereah> if it was possible to do
<Slereah> A tragic fart
<Slereah> Like make a movie and have a fart in it that contributes to its tragic aspect
<Slereah> Like the Buddha dying of colon cancer or something
<Slereah> it's sad to think that the most accurate historical evidence we have is probably paperwork
<Slereah> AND EVEN THEN
<Slereah> Who knows how many sumerian fucks were cooking the books
<@Whimemsz> those sly merchants
<Slereah> the (((hyksos)))
<@Whimemsz> writing down the wrong number of pigs
<@Cev> Yeah we might be totally wrong about how many minas of silver Ena-Gilbash-Ma-Nur-Ga made in the year 2200 BC!
<Slereah> for all we know the bronze age collapse never happened
<Slereah> it was all an insurance scam
<@Cev> I don't get how some people describe moments of silence in the theater
<@Cev> like everyone is "stunned, in shock!"
<@Cev> they're just sitting there, quietly watching a movie
<Slereah> not being rude
<@Cev> Unless the crowd is *constantly* whooping like howler monkeys at the screen, then it must be a moment SO SHOCKING that they're all CATATONIC
<Slereah> do you mean
<Slereah> A BLACK AUDIENCE
<@Cev> I dunno, I've never gone to see a movie with a predominantly black audience.
<@Cev> I have, however, gone to see a movie with a predominantly howler monkey audience.
<@Cev> And I can tell you
<@Cev> They make a ruckus.
<Isambri> Naima thoughts on piercings and tattoos
<Naima> thoughts on piercings and tattoos of third reich iconography bouncing around, one thing stood out: the neo-nazis were all drinking milk. they spat it out as they danced, letting it dribble down their chins."
<Smaug> that's pretty hot
<Slereah> I'm afraid this is a new generation of punks
<dhok> Decree Nisi
<dhok> an order by a court of law stating the date on which a marriage will end unless a good reason not to grant a divorce is produced.
<pthag> u see
<dhok> means "unless" yes
<pthag> pronounced /naisai/ fyi
<dhok> a legal term around since before the great vowel shift i see
<pthag> i think that's unwarrented
<pthag> this is standard english pronunciation of latin
<pthag> it could have been invented in 1873 and it would still be pronounced that way
<pthag> most things were, in fact, invented in 1873
<dhok> what happened in the year 1873
<Slereah> they invented inventions
<Druggie> Buying drugs is a fun experience bc it's like a simulation of buying medicine in the US
<Druggie> Where u pay 10$ per pill
<pthag> drugs insurance when
<Druggie> We can ask Obama for it
<Druggie> one of the punk lady asked me if I had any of the drugs left
<Druggie> and I had
<Druggie> but turns out I lost that last half pill!
<Druggie> v. sad
<Druggie> In retrospect it was probably not a good idea to ask the dealer man what dose he advised for those pills he did not know the quantity of drugs in
<Druggie> Probably not quite the same tolerance as him
<Isambri> the wild 70's. look at the ages
<CUM_SIURAN> the first one on the list is one dinah washington
<CUM_SIURAN> in 1963
<Isambri> "Jay Reatard [...] Cocaine"
<Isambri> of course
<Isambri> "Wayne Static [...] Oxycodone, dilaudid, alcohol"
<Isambri> that guy knew
<Isambri> he went from static to overexcited and static again
<pharazon> i'm 100.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% gay
<CUM_SIURAN> pharazon: lol gay
<CUM_SIURAN> also thats a lot of digits of precision
<CUM_SIURAN> are you sure you're that accurately gay?
<pharazon> yeah the recent SI change made it that by definition
<pharazon> hello twabs
<CUM_SIURAN> pharazon: so the SI unit of gayness is now linked to the Pharazon Gayness Universal Constant?
<Izambri> that's great news
<pharazon> i don't make the rules
<Izambri> I can't wait to buy a gay-o-meter and measure my gayness in pharazons.
<Whimemsz> it's called a gaydar, plz
<Izambri> I differentiate between a gaydar (for me that's a gay radar) and a gay-o-meter (the machine that measures gayness).
<Slereah> what is your level on the gay-o-meter
<Whimemsz> fair point
<Izambri> the Gaydar™ being a detector of gays.
<Izambri> although you can have the deluxe version which integrates a Gaydar and a gay-o-meter.
<Izambri> the supreme tool
The Sleh's Lower Lower Shelf
Well, that one doesn't even need a presentation. It defends itself. A natural winner.
<Slereah> Check out my library instead you nerds
<@Cev> What's that thing that looks like a rubber pickaxe?
<@Cev> is that something you put in your butt?
<Slereah> which thing
<Slereah> Oh, the brush
<Slereah> it's the brush I use for the fursuit
<@Cev> So "yes"
<Slereah> Well indirectly, I guess
<Slereah> you don't want to bang a dude with a messy fursuit
<Slereah> you want that fluffy chest
<Slereah> Better view of the humanities shelf :
<@Cev> Slereah is that a fleshlight?
<Slereah> It is a regular flashlight
<Izambri> Lower shelf: Humanities
<Izambri> Lower Lower Shelf: fleshlights
<Slereah> Oh wait
<Slereah> u don't know
<Slereah> What is in the
<Slereah> lowermost shelf
The 'I Spite On Ur Grave' fantabulous idea
Funny, but above all a great idea for a website. Aren't we creative people? Now we need to be entrepreneurs and make that happen.
<Slereah> So I had a great idea for a site
<Slereah> It is called
<Slereah> I spit on ur grave
<Slereah> It's just me mocking all dead people ever
<Slereah> In chronological order
<Slereah> From early humans to modern celebrities
<@Cev> "Fuck your ass, Scorpion I!"
<Slereah> Watch out Ötzi!
<@Cev> "Oetzi, you're a fukken retard!"
<@Cev> "Bite me, Cheddar Man!"
<pthag> sounds like something maddox or lowtax wld have done in the 2000s
<pthag> im sorry, Slereah....
<@Legion> only known humans or do you include every human that has statistically existed
<Slereah> Well known in the sense that we have either records or bodies
<@Legion> "Statistical mid-15th century Frisian pesant was a moron, fuck that guy lol"
<Slereah> Although I'm sure we have plenty of corpses of 15th century frisians
<@Cev> So you gonna start with the type specifimen of Sahelanthropus tchadensis?
<@Cev> "Fuck that guy!"
<Slereah> I will mock their small stature and poor dental records
<Slereah> Probably just early homo sapiens
<@Cev> what a homo
<Naima> sweaty furry sex toys, they stop real fast and don't like them you will become the smallest hint of muscle. his throbbing manhood, his cock, was swollen and throbbing. �my god� he thought �this brings back memories.�
<Naima> manhood is that legal thing to say phar has the highest tolerance for bad puns when double meaning is involved of course carved into irregularly shaped stone tablets (mostly, tombstones) dating from china's imperial period still standing in the cemetery. according to an official count, among them there are 22 tablets from the song of songs or sth is it computer-related?
<Isambri> Naima weather forecast for the next week
<Naima> weather forecast for the next week to rip apart the deck and rebuild it and stay out of politics bumper stickers here
<Naima> christianism is the one i have really played is civ 4 last night. it was very well done flash for ten seconds and then reappear as a larger and red version of themselves with twice as much gas in the past few years and i don't get why they want to ban it?
If christianism reappeared larger and in red version, then we are speaking about the Inquisition, no? In other words, the Inquisition is christianism with twice as much gas.
The manhood one is even better because it is totally unexplained — more context:
<Isambri> Naima sweaty furry sex
<Naima> sweaty furry sex toys, they stop real fast and don't like them you will become the smallest hint of muscle. his throbbing manhood, his cock, was swollen and throbbing. “my god” he thought “this brings back memories.”
<Slereah> oh my
<Slereah> !grepfile log (?i)his throbbing manhood
<Naima> No match found
<Slereah> a mystery
<Whimemsz> improbable in the extreme
<Smaug> WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
Anyway, some more:
<Slereah> tell us pthag
<Slereah> What is the last feeling u felt
<pthag> what is a feeling
<Slereah> tell us about yur feelings
<pthag> usually i feel things with my fingers
<pthag> sometimes my dick
<pthag> what is there to say
<Slereah> we must administer pthag the voigt kamp test
<@H13> i feel my fingers with my dick
<@H13> and the other way around
<@H13> double feelings
<pthag> u have yet to make the trick of making ur hand go to sleep then
<@H13> i have indeed not tried it
<Slereah> use another man's hand
<Whimemsz> do people really do that?
<Slereah> the gays do yes
<Whimemsz> I thought it was more like an urban legend
<pthag> yes, and they go to hell for it
<pthag> sodomites are very real. u may be living with one right now
<Slereah> in your butt
<Slereah> the prefered nest of the sodomite
<Slereah> I've been to almost every continent, strangely enough
<Slereah> outside of Australia
<Karch> even in antarctica?
<Slereah> mb I can visit vlad
<Slereah> Make it an even 5
<Slereah> I did not
<Slereah> I don't think anyone on the ZBB is in Antarctica
<pthag> except mentally
<Whimemsz> you could visit some penguins though
<pthag> [it has a lot of mentally unstable people who are in a bad dark place]
<pthag> i guess it's summer in antarctica rn tho
<Slereah> I'll bring my speedo
<@H13> since i do not believe the United Kingdom is considered property of the crown
<@H13> except for the royal demesne
<pthag> all land is owned by the crown
<pthag> there's no allodial tenure anywhere, as far as i know
<@H13> and yet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crown_Estate
<pthag> this is not at all the same thing
<@H13> yes indeed it is not
<pthag> Some land in the Orkney and Shetland Islands, known as udal land, is held in a manner akin to allodial land in that these titles are not subject to the ultimate ownership of the Crown.
<pthag> huge if true
<@H13> > udal
<pthag> some sort of norse thing
<@H13> yes it means birthright
<pthag> the danelaw survives
<@H13> immense germanic power
<pthag> Swans, which are the property of the Crown elsewhere in the UK, are the property of the people in Orkney and Shetland.
<Slereah> what kind of stupid medieval shit is this
<pthag> the crown still protects its right in swans
<Whimemsz> a land of rich history and traditions
<pthag> sometimes johnny foreigner comes
<pthag> and kills a swan
<pthag> he is dealt with most severely
<Slereah> is he put in the stocks
<Whimemsz> is he put in the.... DAMN IT
<Slereah> TOO SLOW
<pthag> this is b/c h13 listens to my advice
<Slereah> In the fantastical world of Almea
<pthag> about not discussing crimes on the internet
<Slereah> I will only discuss making drugs and having sex with farm animals
<Slereah> If that is a crime then let history remember me as a criminal
<Slereah> Also I may have commited some light treason
<@H13> Slereah, in god's name, why would you say this
<@H13> on irc
<@H13> u really are very bad at this
<Slereah> I'll confess to any crimes i wish!
<Slereah> I killed Napoleon in Saint Hélène
<@H13> i await my door being kicked down by a squad of bonapartists any second now
<@Cev> did I mention I went to see Mary Queen of Scots and did not like it?
<@Cev> know what's good though?
<@Cev> There's a character in it who speaks Gaelic
<@Cev> Mary rides up to some soldiers and says "Ach, wha nae gin awa' jean?" and one soldier says "Haggis, nae rolls your highness, he nae speaks Scots, only Gaelic" and then has to translate
<Isambri> Naima zoophilia
<Naima> zoophilia on animals whose primary sexual experience is with their siblings)
<Whimemsz> don't get Slereah too excited
<Slereah> TOO LATE
<CUM_SIURAN> the san francisco ballpark is getting renamed
<CUM_SIURAN> from "AT&T park" to "Oracle park"
<CUM_SIURAN> sf is one of the few places in the US where naming a local landmark after a company who paid hundreds of millions of dollars for it actually adds some authentic local color
<Isambri> also, I don't like when people put weird symbols in their Twitter names and I can't see them
<Isambri> because there's that box
<Isambri> boxed names
<Slereah> Man remember when encoding problems were a thing
<Slerea> I'm pretty glad we mostly switched to unicode
<Slereah> that shit was annoying
<Slereah> I even once was sent a package with an encoding error written in pen because of this
<Slereah> because my address had a diacritic in it
<Slereah> and apparently the person making the package was dumb
<Isambri> "my body dressed in construction clothes inside the walls of your house as an elaborate prank for future generations"
<Isambri> that makes a good translation challenge
<slereah-work> that is a single word in my conlang fortunately
<Izmabri> "CBS says the series will relate the next chapter in Picard's life."
<Izmabri> Episode one: Picard dies
<Izmabri> the end
<Izmabri> Episode two: Picard's autopsy
<Izmabri> Episode three: The Vigil
<Izmabri> Episode four: The Funeral. Part One: Exsultabunt Domino
<Izmabri> Episode five: The Funeral. Part Two: Absolution of the Dead
<Izmabri> Episode six: The Funeral. Part Three: At the Cemetery
<Izmabri> Episode seven: The Funeral. Part Four: Everyone's hungry in a funeral
<Izmabri> the following episodes would be centered on an assistant to the funeral that will bring memories of Picard's life
<Izmabri> these episodes will have flashbacks that will recollect some of his most celebrated known adventures
<Tanaphor> Izmabri : as a powerpoint presentation
<Izmabri> as well as adventures and events not yet known by the audience
<Izmabri> Tanaphor: most awesomely yes
#isharia / 12-gen-2019
<Isambrie> Naima the ZBB
<Naima> the zbb murderer registry?
<Isambrie> you got it
<twabs> karch is opipik, kwerk is some lurker, yiffyrifters is yaali's bot, tanaphor is slereah, blackbacon is yaali, play is soap, anyone else is probably izambri
<Karch> the real question is
<Karch> who is Blecqhills
<twabs> probably izambri
<twabs> hence the final clause
<Ser> definitely izambri
<Karch> so cernex is izambri too
<Ser> most definitely yes
<twabs> no cernex has been around for ages
<Whimemsz> no Cernex is someone else
<Ser> what are you guys talking about?
<Ser> <Cernex> I'm Izambri
<Ser> there you go
<Ser> I pinky-promise I didn't make up this quote, just like 95% of my statistics
<Whimemsz> (and Netharia and valinta are still around after about 10 years of silence)
<Isambrie> right now I'm just Isambrie and Blecqhills
<Whimemsz> for real though he's not Izambri
Isharia or Much Ado About Noting, a comedie of intrigues.