quoting Nortaneous, Marquis, Maryland:

[bongos play in the distance. an entire room smoaks an hit on farge whead blonts in unison s.w.e.d. smoak wewd every dag. an english major chainsmokes into his typewriter. he gets up to shit, trips, and breaks his tenth pair of sunglasses. immediately he bursts into very poetic tears, which fall from his face and hit the typewriter keys and begin to type out what would become his best-selling novel. it begins: "Fuck you idiot piece of shit. Heres a truth for you. When you are fucking on a crocodile, there's a 27% chance that that same crocodile will bite your asshole off. He'll just bite your asshole clean off your ass and in 7 days you will die from non shitting. It's only after we've lost our ass that we're free to do anything. This is your life, and it's ending one ass at a time. Sometimes when I poop, I use the shaping attachment from my old Play Doh fun set. I place it on my anus, and make poops in different shapes. There’s nothing strange about that at all. I’m an American, living in America, and if I want to have poops shaped like stars, I have every right to. The founding fathers would have wanted it that way. You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're the ass-eating, star-shitting crocodile of the world.” he downs a bottle of gin and fellates a triple-barrel shotgun because he is a Serious Author. the cloud of weeg smobe from the marihuaba blont's passes over his room and he inhales deeply of the tetrahydrocannabinol. he wakes up two years later standing naked in an airport with his body covered in KILL THE MOLDOVANS tattoos and his penis inside a goat. the bongos never stop]

quoting Morrígan, Baroness:

You say
no bro can
defeat thee

but I
am no bro
come at me