[cut to Ambassador Yozhikov delicately playing piano]

Russiaaaa got stabbed again
Moved the black sea fleet to port
Got her ally to support...
Russiaaaa's game had just begun
And now I've gone and thrown it all awaaay!

Russiaaaa, ooooo-ooh
Didn't mean to let you die
I shouldn't have trusted Anguipes after all!
Carry on, carry on... it's doesn't really matter

Turkeeeey, my time has come
You conquered all our land
Now our forces must disband
Goodbye, Austro-Hungary
You got me good
And I don't know how I'm going to face the tsar....

Russiaaaaa, ooooo-ooh (A(Gal) — Boh)
I don't want to lose
Sometimes I wish I'd never joined up at all!

[Tsar Njut' plays epic guitar solo]