Tsar Njut' appears in front of a large flag bearing his face. It's hard to understand what he's saying, due to the Russian national anthem blasting at an unreasonable volume.

Subjugated serfs of glorious Russiyan Moderlend! Is me, your Fearless Leader!

A chorus of trumpets clashes horribly with the background-er, foreground-music.

You may hearink reports of bombink of Glorious Russiyan Protecterate of Latviya! But are false rumors! Is dangerous propogenda for demoralizink of populace from subveersive Portuguiyan homosexuel terrorists!

A photo of the prime minister of Spain, badly photoshopped to be wearing a niqāb and carrying a sign reading "I ЭМ КILLIИК GLØЯIØUS ЯUSSIУАИS!", is shown.

So now we takink action! I em declarink war on Portugal!

—Tsar Njut'